a certain softness juxtaposition ... or continued
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whenever a song gets stuck in my head, i tend to extend the lyrics (mostly thinking about people i know), this is an example i quite like: a certain kindness in his voice makes me happy more than i ever thought it would a certain kindness more than i ever thought it could a certain kindness in his voice got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked a little darkness in his look irritates me though i don't think it matters much a little madness it comes with living life as such a little darkness in his look got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked some sort of trouble in his soul feels familiar like i have known him all my life some sort of trouble like he has known me all his life some sort of trouble in his soul got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked a kind of magic in his song reassures me that i don't have to be alone a kind of magic that i'm not out there on my own a kind of magic in his song got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked and i could could go on ...
yeah, in fact it's hard to stop. many times i tend to read paul's lyrics as poems, because his lyrics often contradict his music. not always, but quite often. so happy music, serious text. and i have often read that people regard his lyrics as flat, i don't think they are AT ALL. some lyrics just want to be read right. and btw, if people criticize paul's melodies as simple also, keep in mind that it is the SIMPLE melodies that you remember. quite clever really, when you think about it. jj x -
jezebeljack:
whenever a song gets stuck in my head, i tend to extend the lyrics (mostly thinking about people i know), this is an example i quite like: a certain kindness in his voice makes me happy more than i ever thought it would a certain kindness more than i ever thought it could a certain kindness in his voice got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked a little darkness in his look irritates me though i don't think it matters much a little madness it comes with living life as such a little darkness in his look got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked some sort of trouble in his soul feels familiar like i have known him all my life some sort of trouble like he has known me all his life some sort of trouble in his soul got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked a kind of magic in his song reassures me that i don't have to be alone a kind of magic that i'm not out there on my own a kind of magic in his song got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked and i could could go on ...
yeah, in fact it's hard to stop. many times i tend to read paul's lyrics as poems, because his lyrics often contradict his music. not always, but quite often. so happy music, serious text. and i have often read that people regard his lyrics as flat, i don't think they are AT ALL. some lyrics just want to be read right. and btw, if people criticize paul's melodies as simple also, keep in mind that it is the SIMPLE melodies that you remember. quite clever really, when you think about it. jj xNice. Last verse is my favourite.
Do you think you could rewrite the final verse of Hey Jude? That stopgap "the movement you need is on your shoulder" line which Lennon persuaded him against his better judgment to keep in, imho neither makes sense nor rhymes at all. The words are otherwise so great that I sometimes try to think of improvements to the line or the whole verse. Still haven't come up with anything I'm happy with though. -
illwobble:
jezebeljack:
whenever a song gets stuck in my head, i tend to extend the lyrics (mostly thinking about people i know), this is an example i quite like: a certain kindness in his voice makes me happy more than i ever thought it would a certain kindness more than i ever thought it could a certain kindness in his voice got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked a little darkness in his look irritates me though i don't think it matters much a little madness it comes with living life as such a little darkness in his look got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked some sort of trouble in his soul feels familiar like i have known him all my life some sort of trouble like he has known me all his life some sort of trouble in his soul got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked a kind of magic in his song reassures me that i don't have to be alone a kind of magic that i'm not out there on my own a kind of magic in his song got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked and i could could go on ...
yeah, in fact it's hard to stop. many times i tend to read paul's lyrics as poems, because his lyrics often contradict his music. not always, but quite often. so happy music, serious text. and i have often read that people regard his lyrics as flat, i don't think they are AT ALL. some lyrics just want to be read right. and btw, if people criticize paul's melodies as simple also, keep in mind that it is the SIMPLE melodies that you remember. quite clever really, when you think about it. jj xNice. Last verse is my favourite.
Do you think you could rewrite the final verse of Hey Jude? That stopgap "the movement you need is on your shoulder" line which Lennon persuaded him against his better judgment to keep in, imho neither makes sense nor rhymes at all. The words are otherwise so great that I sometimes try to think of improvements to the line or the whole verse. Still haven't come up with anything I'm happy with though.Nice job keeping with the ryhme scheme
A Certain Softness is actually one of my fav tracks on Chaos. Funny you don't like that line illwobble. I like it cause its different, adds a little lyrical artistry to the song. -
kapoo:
illwobble:
jezebeljack:
whenever a song gets stuck in my head, i tend to extend the lyrics (mostly thinking about people i know), this is an example i quite like: a certain kindness in his voice makes me happy more than i ever thought it would a certain kindness more than i ever thought it could a certain kindness in his voice got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked a little darkness in his look irritates me though i don't think it matters much a little madness it comes with living life as such a little darkness in his look got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked some sort of trouble in his soul feels familiar like i have known him all my life some sort of trouble like he has known me all his life some sort of trouble in his soul got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked a kind of magic in his song reassures me that i don't have to be alone a kind of magic that i'm not out there on my own a kind of magic in his song got me hooked got me hooked got me hooked and i could could go on ...
yeah, in fact it's hard to stop. many times i tend to read paul's lyrics as poems, because his lyrics often contradict his music. not always, but quite often. so happy music, serious text. and i have often read that people regard his lyrics as flat, i don't think they are AT ALL. some lyrics just want to be read right. and btw, if people criticize paul's melodies as simple also, keep in mind that it is the SIMPLE melodies that you remember. quite clever really, when you think about it. jj xNice. Last verse is my favourite.
Do you think you could rewrite the final verse of Hey Jude? That stopgap "the movement you need is on your shoulder" line which Lennon persuaded him against his better judgment to keep in, imho neither makes sense nor rhymes at all. The words are otherwise so great that I sometimes try to think of improvements to the line or the whole verse. Still haven't come up with anything I'm happy with though.Nice job keeping with the ryhme scheme
A Certain Softness is actually one of my fav tracks on Chaos. Funny you don't like that line illwobble. I like it cause its different, adds a little lyrical artistry to the song.Well KPU you would say that! You're a Lennon man after all! The way I see it John stopped Paul from finishing off his lyrics properly by including some nice sounding words which are total nonsense, don't fit there and don't rhyme! But never mind, it's ok!
I think Jezebeljack posted a reply here with two suggestions which were possibly improvements (not sure), but the post seems to now be deleted. -
illwobble:
Well KPU you would say that! You're a Lennon man after all! The way I see it John stopped Paul from finishing off his lyrics properly by including some nice sounding words which are total nonsense, don't fit there and don't rhyme! But never mind, it's ok!
I think Jezebeljack posted a reply here with two suggestions which were possibly improvements (not sure), but the post seems to now be deleted.That is true, but when I started on this board the gap was way more huge between John and Paul for me. In fact I joined in '05 and didn't even look at the board again for like 4 years! then I came back and was nearly ripping on Paul in some of my posts... which wasn't even a cool thing to do. But actually I've always liked his music (I probably actually write music more like Paul that John), and now they are pretty much equal in my book. In this case its more about my own lyrical taste, I like lyrics that make you decipher, or which flash an image you would never think of, things out of the ordinary. I like how Paul said it sounded like a parrot
but John was like no way I know what it means. but Paul wrote it, really I'm just digging Paul's lyric. I think it goes well within the song Hey Jude. ** edited per request -
it was "don't need someone else to do the show with" --- not sure if it is an "improvement" since i am not entirely sure what the original lyrics aim at. so if it makes sense or not is not for me to say, but i think it would fit quite easily (as do many other alterations, i suppose
. and please guys, stop quoting the whole post - it's hard to read and we're not even talking about the original post anymore. thx. jj x -
jezebeljack:
it was "don't need someone else to do the show with" --- not sure if it is an "improvement" since i am not entirely sure what the original lyrics aim at. so if it makes sense or not is not for me to say, but i think it would fit quite easily (as do many other alterations, i suppose
.I think you had another one I slightly preferred. Anyway it's tricky as nothing really rhymes with "with", but I kind of prefer something other than another "with". I was thinking something like "you'll find that that that's just the way the world is", but not happy with that... Maybe John was right. Just release it with the stupid nonsense line!!
Writing lyrics is definitely the hard work bit of songwriting. I've got about 2 or 3 songs I've written most of but they all need lots more lyrics... -
well actually it DOES rhyme, if you mumble enough lol
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illwobble:
Do you think you could rewrite the final verse of Hey Jude? That stopgap "the movement you need is on your shoulder" line which Lennon persuaded him against his better judgment to keep in, imho neither makes sense nor rhymes at all. The words are otherwise so great that I sometimes try to think of improvements to the line or the whole verse. Still haven't come up with anything I'm happy with though.
you won't need improvement now. look at the front page. saw that and thought of you and that line lol
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jezebeljack:
illwobble:
Do you think you could rewrite the final verse of Hey Jude? That stopgap "the movement you need is on your shoulder" line which Lennon persuaded him against his better judgment to keep in, imho neither makes sense nor rhymes at all. The words are otherwise so great that I sometimes try to think of improvements to the line or the whole verse. Still haven't come up with anything I'm happy with though.
you won't need improvement now. look at the front page. saw that and thought of you and that line lol
Yes! Actually that reminds me, here's one song I wrote which could do with a better (completely new) set of lyrics if you're inspired at all! Since you said you're more into writing lyrics than melody. I quite like the tune to this but the lyrics are a bit odd. Likewise I also have another song with a decent tune and REALLY BAD LYRICS if you're interested in that!
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illwobble:
Actually that reminds me, here's one song I wrote which could do with a better (completely new) set of lyrics if you're inspired at all!
Since you said you're more into writing lyrics than melody. I quite like the tune to this but the lyrics are a bit odd. Likewise I also have another song with a decent tune and REALLY BAD LYRICS if you're interested in that!
send me the song or put it up on soundcloud if you want or send me the link via pm or facebook. i'm sorry i have not been on lately, but i was busy having a family of two little and one big boy, all of them very lively. i'll see what i come up with. i listened to your grasshopper and i quite like it, but i haven't had the time to think of something. should it still be about grasshoppers? i had a dream a while back, don't really remember what it was about .... but when i woke up i had those things in my head and had to write them down. i know they are a bit cheesy, really, but i thought it was amazing to wake up and have a rhyming poem in my head. of course i don't own the last part of this text. "brother i have seen the light and the light was mighty bright i wish i hadn't seen it though there's so much i don't want to know i can't forget about it now i have learned so much about how the world keeps turning without end and people just don't understand. the storm is coming can't you see. just have another cup of tea. preferrably with me. living is easy with eyes closed misunderstanding all you see. i think i know i mean a yes but it's all wrong that is i think i disagree. it doesn't matter much to me." see you (or hear you) soon. btw, i'm learning the guitar now, and i really suck at hey jude and let it be. maybe let it be is not the right message for starting something new, haha
the next project will be too much rain, once i mastered bm. -
jezebeljack:
illwobble:
Actually that reminds me, here's one song I wrote which could do with a better (completely new) set of lyrics if you're inspired at all!
Since you said you're more into writing lyrics than melody. I quite like the tune to this but the lyrics are a bit odd. Likewise I also have another song with a decent tune and REALLY BAD LYRICS if you're interested in that!
send me the song or put it up on soundcloud if you want or send me the link via pm or facebook. i'm sorry i have not been on lately, but i was busy having a family of two little and one big boy, all of them very lively. i'll see what i come up with. i listened to your grasshopper and i quite like it, but i haven't had the time to think of something. should it still be about grasshoppers? i had a dream a while back, don't really remember what it was about .... but when i woke up i had those things in my head and had to write them down. i know they are a bit cheesy, really, but i thought it was amazing to wake up and have a rhyming poem in my head. of course i don't own the last part of this text. "brother i have seen the light and the light was mighty bright i wish i hadn't seen it though there's so much i don't want to know i can't forget about it now i have learned so much about how the world keeps turning without end and people just don't understand. the storm is coming can't you see. just have another cup of tea. preferrably with me. living is easy with eyes closed misunderstanding all you see. i think i know i mean a yes but it's all wrong that is i think i disagree. it doesn't matter much to me." see you (or hear you) soon. btw, i'm learning the guitar now, and i really suck at hey jude and let it be. maybe let it be is not the right message for starting something new, haha
the next project will be too much rain, once i mastered bm.Hi! Sorry I missed this. I likewise haven't been on the board so much lately and have small children who take up a lot of time. Those are some really nice lyrics (last part oddly familiar
) . I WAS thinking about entirely new lyrics for grasshopper but then I'm strangely attached to it as well. Did it live for the first time tonight actually, complete with egg whisk and stick to make a grasshopper chirpy noise!! I too wish I'd learned guitar long ago. Not sure I have the time or patience now. Take care! -
only saying, i'm back ... my email account got hacked ... can't log in, what sorry person does that crap ... so i had to sign up AGAIN ... with a different address this time
all's well that ends well.
