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Claudia611:'McCarthur Park' - Richard Harris ...... yup...I actually like it!! ops: ops:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wadrAU6baV0

This was the one i was going to name too!

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Do You Want to Know a Secret

...or I may be asleep

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Within You Without You

I can only speak my mind

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Rough Demo here!! Not the finished article. But exciting for me as it's the first proper song I've written in over 10 years now.

http://soundcloud.com/jon-stammers/penguin-rough-demo-take1

Lyrics:

A penguin slides down an icy slope
The penguin glides through the icy sea
But you and me
We don't get by so easily

Sometimes we don't talk a lot
Sometimes we don't talk at all
But when I call
You answer me, so we won't fall

When it gets cold
And the cold wind blows around
There's no shelter to be found from the icy storm
I can keep you warm

Sometimes this world, it can seem so cold
And you regret some of the life you chose
But the penguin knows
What to do when the cold wind blows

When it gets cold
And the cold wind blows around
There's no shelter to be found from the icy storm
I can keep you warm
Let me keep you warm

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Possibly the greatest movie ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOcyYyxqN_g

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Thanks gentlemen! I was hoping you'd approve
My friend Magnus plays good guitar... and most other instruments too. I wish I could. Makes it trickier composing, but I'm glad I managed to realise my vision for this one with Magnus's help. Still needs tweaking and re-recording though. Any tips welcomed!

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...ain't gonna make it...

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kapoo:is your boy's name Magnus Barthalomew Goode by chance? cause he plays the guitar just like he's ringin a bell, go go! and your melody is spot on, upon second listening. Nice beauty factor.

one thing I think could make it tighter, is to keep working the melody over so the words flow more. a lot of that is just through practicing the song, and how to sing it. absolutely not changing any of the words at all, hell no!! but like tightening up the phrasing like what notes are held longer, what notes are short, which ones are accented, so its perfectly tight and flow-y. tight timing could enhance its vocal beauty. I suck at singing but thought I'd offer the tip its pretty much what I tell myself. timing and rhythm have to be impreccible. Nilsson-style if you will sorry! Macca style :cool:

or you could tell me that the vocal phrasings are all exactly as you heard them in your head when they were written, in which case I have no clue what I'm on about over here I just like analyzing songs

Thanks for the feedback. Yes, you're definitely right that my vocal performance needs perfecting. It was a great disappointment to me after writing it to find that when I came to sing, I did not have the voice of Paul McCartney, or even of Jack Johnson or some lesser songster, but of ME. My British accent makes some of it awkward, and I need to work out how I should pronounce things like the "a lot" in "sometimes we don't talk a lot". Maybe I need to study more how the great man does it, I'll listen to "That Means A Lot" a few times...

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audi:I actually am writing a few comedy bits that I'd like to get a few of us to participate in via Skype. You're an animated dude, illwobble.

Hmmm... intriguing! Let me know!

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