Post Anything You Want Thread!
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A quick chuckle to start the day...... Never choke in a restaurant in the South Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
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OMG...way too funny!
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Well BAM that was good for a laugh this morning
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you mean we're still allowed to BAM here???? lol
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Beatlemaniac:
you mean we're still allowed to BAM here???? lol
I thought it was okay?? Perhaps I should take a look at the rules
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Whatever......
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First a little chuckle and now a few tears..... A drunken man in an Oldsmobile They said had run the light That caused the six-car pileup On 109 that night. When broken bodies lay about 'And blood was everywhere,' 'The sirens screamed out eulogies,' For death was in the air. 'A mother, trapped inside her car,' Was heard above the noise; Her plaintive plea near split the air: 'Oh, God, please spare my boys!' She fought to loose her pinned hands; 'She struggled to get free,' But mangled metal held her fast In grim captivity... Her frightened eyes then focused 'On where the back seat once had been,' But all she saw was broken glass and Two children's seats crushed in. Her twins were nowhere to be seen; 'She did not hear them cry' 'And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, ' 'Oh, God, don't let them die! ' Then firemen came and cut her loose, ' 'But when they searched the back, ' 'They found therein no little boys, ' But the seat belts were intact. They thought the woman had gone mad 'And was traveling alone, ' 'But when they turned to question her, ' They discovered she was gone. Policemen saw her running wild And screaming above the noise 'In beseeching supplication, ' Please help me find my boys! They're four years old and wear blue shirts; 'Their jeans are blue to match.'' 'One cop spoke up, ''They're in my car, ' And they don't have a scratch. They said their daddy put them there 'And gave them each a cone, ' Then told them both to wait for Mom To come and take them home. 'I've searched the area high and low, ' But I can't find their dad. 'He must have fled the scene, ' 'I guess, and that is very bad.' 'The mother hugged the twins and said, ' 'While wiping at a tear, ' 'He could not flee the scene, you see, ' 'For he's been dead a year.' 'The cop just looked confused and asked, ' 'Now, how can that be true? ' 'The boys said, ''Mommy, Daddy came ' 'And left a kiss for you.'' ' He told us not to worry 'And that you would be all right, ' And then he put us in this car with 'The pretty, flashing light. 'We wanted him to stay with us, ' 'Because we miss him so, ' 'But Mommy, he just hugged us tight ' And said he had to go... He said someday we'd understand 'And told us not to fuss, ' 'And he said to tell you, Mommy, ' 'He's watching over us' The mother knew without a doubt 'That what they spoke was true, ' 'For she recalled their dad's last words, ' ' I will watch over you.' The firemen's notes could not explain 'The twisted, mangled car' And how the three of them escaped Without a single scar. 'But on the cop's report was scribed, ' 'In print so very fine, ' An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.
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Guest 03-03-2008 01:26 PM Viewing Private Messages ...now how the heck can that be?????
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JennyLP:
A quick chuckle to start the day...... Never choke in a restaurant in the South Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
Very funny - thanks for the laugh!
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JennyLP:
Nah...nothing new...same old, same old!
Yeah, pretty much.
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JennyLP:
A quick chuckle to start the day...... Never choke in a restaurant in the South Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
O.K., that was good.
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Hi Mr. Snob....how are you this evening?
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Is Mr Snob lurking again?
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He's always lurking and then honors us with his posts when he feels the need.....
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Jabberwocky:
Is Mr Snob lurking again?
I see you finally got a hold of that dictionary.
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Kinda like Dracula coming down from his castle (creepy)
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JennyLP:
Hi Mr. Snob....how are you this evening?
Doing pretty good, thanks. How are you doing, PJ?
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Matthew_Montoya:
Jabberwocky:
Is Mr Snob lurking again?
I see you finally got a hold of that dictionary.
You mean the one I hit you over the head with?
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JennyLP:
He's always lurking and then honors us with his posts when he feels the need.....
You got it.
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Matthew_Montoya:
JennyLP:
He's always lurking and then honors us with his posts when he feels the need.....
You got it.
Honors (as I spit water out my nose) :