How John Broke Up with Paul
How John Broke Up with Paul Samuel T Goldberg firstname.lastname@example.org Thirty years after his tragic death, debate continues to swirl about John Lennon: How could he succumb to Yoko Ono and renounce the Beatles? Was she, as he professed to believe, a deeply wise human being and artist, or, as others held her, a greedy, intrusive, hysterical idiot? How could he prefer her to his truly good friends, Paul, George, and Ringo? Did he really believe the Beatles were an overblown dream whose music was crap? The recent cover story of Rolling Stone, transcribing his very last interview, shows John committed to Yoko, but confused in his musings about life and art. One moment of clarity: he admitted that recurrently, he still got quite depressed and withdrawn. This should not surprise those astute few who followed the story of the Beatles closely, but documentary evidence to some has appeared lacking. Fortunately, in my researches among the pubs and haunts of 60?s Rock London, notably the trash bins at the corner of Abbey Road, I have come across some discarded audio tapes, long ?forgotten, of a conversation between John and Paul, showing the dynamics leading to their breakup. I barely had time to transcribe the tape when, unfortunately , it was destroyed by an unanticipated burst of sunspot activity, so I regret that further study is not possible. The scene is Paul?s London flat, where John had crashed after a night partying and drugging it up with his guitarist friend, Keith. Paul enters, having spent his night exploring the avant ?guard art scene of the British capital. Paul: Hey mate! I?m in love and it?s a sunny day! What?s up with you, Johnny boy? John: Paul, you know I?m down. I?m really down. Down in the ground. P: Well, you?ve got to admit it?s getting better. J: I?m down down down down down down down down down___ Baby, I?m down. P: Hey, we could make a song out of that! Can I borrow that line? Take a sad song and make it better? Elbows on knees, John held his forehead in his hands with a mournful sigh: ?Oh dear, what can I do? Every now and then I feel so insecure. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed help in any way. P: Hey, John, don?t make it bad. Is there anything I can do? J: Help me if you can, I?m feeling down. P: So, why on earth should you moan? J: You know she made me cry. I see no reason wondering why I cry for her. I did tell her, if I cried, it?s not because I?m sad, but she?s the only girl that I ever had. Paul felt tenderly for his old buddy, and wanted to help. P: Hey John, Don?t be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. When you?re home, everything seems to be right. All you?ve got to do is call her on the phone, and she?ll come running home. But John was inconsolable. J: My tears are falling like rain from the sky. There?s no fun in what I do if she?s not there. I wonder what went wrong? I played a part too long. I should have known better. What have I done to deserve such a fate? You know I can?t sleep at night since she?s been gone. I can?t go on. P: John, you?ve got to hide your love away. Anytime you feel the pain, don?t carry the world upon your shoulders. Tell her, well you have got___ another girl. That?s it! Another girl who will love you to the end! You?ve got a good reason for taking the easy way out. J: Paul, that?ll never work! I can?t believe__ it?s happened to me. I can?t conceive of any more misery! At this point, John got a far-off look, and turned introspective: ? I remember the first time I was lonely without her. But, There?s nothing I can do that can?t be done. Nothing I can say. I call her name, but she?s not there. She?s leaving home. I told her I love her every day__, always on my mind. I told her I ain?t got nothing but love. I begged her to hold me, love me. Paul, if you could only hear what I promised her! If she needs somebody to love, she could just look into my eyes___I?d be there to make her feel right. But she wouldn?t listen! I guess I should have realized a lot of things before. P: John, she?s a big teaser, that?s all. Sure it feels bad, but boy, you?ve got to carry that weight. J: Oh, how long will it take, till she sees the mistake she has made? Paul, she?s the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry. Now, my life has changed in oh so many ways! Upset by his recent breakup with Jane, the conversation of which we were miraculously able to recover from other long-lost tapes (see below), Paul understood something of what John felt, but his buddy?s reaction was much more extreme. The cherubic choir-boy felt that he had to try to be, or find, a psychiatrist for his good friend. But John was sinking fast. P: John, you?ve got to stop your mind from wandering___ where it will go. Maybe we should call Dr. Robert. Day or night he?ll be there anytime at all. J: I?m a loser. I?m not what I appear to be. I?ve lost someone who?s near to me. When I think of all the times I tried so hard to leave her___ My independence seems to vanish in the haze. I need a fix ?cause I?m going down. I can?t see no future. Can?t see no sky. P: John, let?s call Dr. Robert, really! If you?re down, he?ll pick you up! He?s a man you must believe! John knew he needed help, but he hated his disappointment to show, and he felt some rising resentment toward his sunny friend. J: You, Paul, need to laugh because the sun is out! Well, you can celebrate anything you want. Everything has got to be just like you want it to. But that?s not how it is for me, Paul. Well, here?s another place you can go. Paul was taken aback by this sudden turn of hostility. He was only trying to help! P: Do you don?t you want me to help you? To lead a better life, you need your love to be there. John, you were a man who thought you were a loner, but you knew it couldn?t last. You have to learn that love is to share. Then, you?ll never be the lonely one. J: Paul, you said through thick and thin, you?d always be my friend. P: Don?t be afraid. Don?t you know that it?s just you? Silly people run around, they disagree and never win. They worry me. Just face it: She no longer needs you. I told you you?re going to lose that girl. You stay home, she goes out. The way you treated her, what else could she do? You need her and yet you don?t believe her when she said her love is dead. It was a love that should have lasted years. J: I think I?m going to be sad. I think it?s today. Now John, who didn?t like being lectured to, looked at his melodic buddy with rising anger and envy. J: How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people? See how the other half lives, why don?t you. Well here?s another place you can be. Listen to me: How do you sleep at night? P: What?s happened to you, John? Is it too much LSD? In the old days, you didn?t run, you didn?t hide. J: What makes you think you?re something special when you smile? OK, maybe I?m childlike. No one understands. You don?t know what it?s like to listen to your fears. You can?t talk to me. You?re always telling me,?You?ve been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.? You think you know me , but you haven?t got a clue. You tell me you?ve heard every sound there is, but you can?t hear me. Don?t you think the joker laughs at you? Fearing now that even the band was in jeopardy, Paul wanted desperately to reconcile if possible. P: Dear friend, does it really mean that much to you? It really doesn?t matter, if I?m wrong I?m right. John, once there was a way to get back homeward. Though I lose a friend, in the end you will know. When I get to the bottom then I?ll see you again. Tomorrow may rain but I?ll follow the sun. J: If the sun don?t shine you?ll get a tan from standing in the English rain. I?m crying. I?m crying. I told you once before goodbye, but I came back again. You___ could find better things to do. This time, I will try to show that I?m not trying to pretend. I thought that you would realize. I wanna go, but I hate to leave you. P: I don?t know why you say goodbye, I say hello. Whatever happened to the love that we once knew? Can we really live without each other? And so the breakup occurred, with bitterness , but the possibility of reunion, if only John hadn?t met Mark Chapman that night at the Dakota. How Paul Wrote ?Yesterday? By Samuel T Goldberg, MD intrepid reporter Sglmn61@aol.com June 14 marked the 45th anniversary of Paul McCartney?s recording of the song, ?Yesterday?, at Abbey Road Studios in London. Voted the #1 Pop Song of all time by MTV and Rolling Stone Magazine, "Yesterday", according to the Guinness Book of Records, has been covered over 3000 times. Paul?s genius residing more in music than words, he nevertheless was able to adorn this beautiful melody with compelling lyrics, spare and evocative, leading generations of critics to wonder: What was going on in his life at the time that could have inspired him so? After much toil rummaging through the archives and stacks of London bookstores, butcher-shops and pubs, I have uncovered seemingly reliable evidence, a long-discarded reel-to reel tape that, alas, has since been destroyed by an unanticipated eruption of sunspots. Nevertheless, I?m daring to offer the account which follows. Be forewarned, however: as plausible as this report may appear, some details may require further corroboration. Apparently Paul and his girlfriend, Jane, were lounging about at breakfast, still in their bathrobes after their morning showers. Jane's parents, Dr. and Mrs. Asher, had gone off to church, so the kids had the run of the neatly manicured Tudor house___ Despite their happy acceptance of her clean-cut, sometimes cheeky but generally cherubic boyfriend, Jane would never have felt so free if Mummy and Dad had been at home. Jane: Paulie? Paul: Yes, Dear? J: Why were you chatting so long with that brunette at the Cavern the other night? P; Oh, Darling, come on, now, you can't be jealous of Ringo's little sister! J: She didn't look so little to me. P: She was just seventeen! J: Oh, Paul__ You say you will love ME! Tell me I?m the only one. P: OK, Darling. I admit it. I did flirt with her. Had it been another day, I might have looked the other way. You?re making me say that I?ve got nobody but you. But, you're about to go do your theatre thing in Birmingham. Anyway, that girl and I___ We said our goodbyes the night before. I promise! J: You promised: Posh! That girls' just a low-life peasant! P: Hey! Tone it down! I know that she's no peasant! J: I don't know, Paul. When you held me near, you were so sincere: You'd be thinking of ME, if I had to go. But now, things seem different. I fear that one day you'll look, and see I've gone. Paul was stopped in his tracks by this comment. Hadn't he given her all his love? That's all he did! Putting on his most endearing pout, he tried to placate her: P: Tell me baby___ What's been wrong with you? Let me go on loving you. J: Don?t you know that love is to share? You don?t need me to show the way, love. P: Aw, come on, come on. Close your eyes and I?ll kiss you. J: Get away! You tell lies, thinking I can?t see. I gave you everything, and tenderly. I gave you most of my life, Paul. Sacrificed most of my life. P: I gave you everything money could buy! I don?t want to sound complaining, but you know___ You never gave me your money. I gave you all I've got to give! J: But money can't__ P: I know! I know! Don't say it! Jane looked at him searchingly, but with suspicion. J: What goes on in your heart? What goes on in your mind? I'm looking through you. Where did you go? P: Did I say something wrong? You ought to know that I?ve been good, as good as I can be. Try to see it my way! Paul was beginning to despair. After all her words of kindness, she no longer needed him. She'd changed, she?d changed. She wasn't the same. He was going to lose that girl, and now, frantic, all he knew to do was beg on bended knees. If she?d only listen to his pleas___ P: Is there anything I can do? Is there anything that you want? Did I tell you I need you, every single day? What can I do? what can I be? When I?m with you I want to stay here. Let?s both of us think how good it could be. But Jane wasn?t having any of it: J: Did you mean to break my heart and watch me die? Tell me why! I have had enough, so act your age! If only you'd treat me like you did the night before. Paul?s mind ached. Suddenly, he felt half the man he used to be. P: Look what you?re doing! Why do you have to go? J: I?m not going to say! Open up your eyes, now. Tell me what you see. P: There were birds in the sky. Love was in your eyes the night before. Listen to me one more time. How can I get through? Nodding her head from side to side, Jane looked down and pushed away her plate of scrambled eggs. J: In the beginning, I misunderstood, but now I?ve got it. Long ago, I knew someone, but now he?s gone. A great wave of sadness and loss washed through Paul. A shadow hanging over him, he murmured to himself, ?She says I?ve hurt her so. She?s almost lost her mind. I think I?ve lost my love.? Dejected, he turned back to Jane and sighed, P: I just can?t go on, if you won?t see me. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. J: I loved you! I loved you! That's all I want to say. Until you find a way. Maybe you should go to India, Like George, find Buddha or something. Suddenly, with a great whooshing sound, John appeared outside the window on a flaming pie, screaming, "I don't believe___ in Buddha!!" Resigned at last, Paul replied, "I believe in yesterday." There it is, folks. It seems pretty true to me! Sam Goldberg Clarksville, Maryland 410-964-0911
Could be. I like it.